Collywood Salesman

Top 16 indications that your are from sales :

16, you own a expensive smartphone , yet you hate it when it rings

15, you define "carrer cirsis" as "Market visit by top management"

14, your wallet is always filled with bunch of old resturant bills, train/bus/flight tickets.

13, your boss suspects you'hv been bunking work if your clothes don't look disshelved in the evening.

12, you develop an extinsive vocabulary filled with colourful vernacular adjectives.

11, you hate rains ( unless u r umbrella salesman )

10, your idea of "shit" happens when last day of the month falls on a sunday.

9,  you ask for commitment from your child for the marks he will get in his upcoming school exams.

8,  when you child scores 95% in the school , you shout at him for not having achieved 100% of target.

7,  you lauch when TV ads of face lotions talk about "protecting your comlexion from harmful sunlight".

6,  all family outings / functions, vacations are strictly to be planned between 1-15 of the month & and not above     3-4 days.

5,  the word "channel" does not remind you about television.

4,  you watched rocket singh with your entire family & gave them live commentry the entire movie.

3,  you survive on 6 glasses of chai & a dozen cigarrates everyday.

2,  while shoppig you irritate shopkeeper by asking questions.

1,  probably you lost ur v......... in bangkok.

Collywood Rocks !!!

Collywood Humour

Boss & his subordinate were sitting down for a break outside their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with no inventoried stock and only a few shelves set up.

Boss said to his collegue, “I bet any minute now some idiot tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we’re selling.”

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious a tourist walked to the window, had a peek, and in a thick accent asked “What you sell?”

Boss replied sarcastically, “We're selling idiots & lazy bums.”

Without skipping a beat, the tourist said, “You doing very well… with only u left !”

morale : Dont' be smart....

Collywood Rocks !!!

Collywood Fact ( Current Scenario ) :

This is what really all would be doing in organizations these days Right!

1) blame it on others for his inability.
2) blame it on the economy.
3) blame it on the company policies & ideologies.

Still...

Collywood Rocks !!!

Collywood Appraisal Humour for dedicated & hardworking employees

Boss: Arz kiya hai......... Office may Kaam hote hain... Galtiyon ka sama hota hai.... Aise mausam mein hi to PERFORMANCE jawan hota hai.... Dil ki khunnas BOSS jabaan se nahi kehte... Ye fasana to appraisal mein bayan hota hai....

Employee's reply... Arz kiya hai......... Appraisal hote hain... Disappointment ka sama hota hai... Aise mausam mein hi to Attrition jawan hota hai.... Dil ki khunnas HUM jabaan se nahi kehte... Ye fasana to appraisal ke baad se bayan hota hai....

Collywood Rocks !!!

Collywood Humour

My boss told me to start my presentation with a joke
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I placed my Salary Slip in the 1st slide to be shown  :)

Collywood Rocks !!!

Collywood & Real Life Fact :

I was jogging one day & I found a person in front of me about 1/4 of a mile, I could tell that he was running a little slower than me & I thought , good I shall try to catch him.

So I started running faaster & faster, every block I was gaining on him just a little bit, after just few minutes I was only about 100 yards behind him, so I really picked up the pace & push myself, I thought I was running the last leg of olymics sprint.I was determined to catch him.

At last I went ahead of him & had a feel good factor in me, ofcourse the other person did not even knew that we were racing.

After I passed him , I realised that I was so engrossed & focussed in competing against him that I missed the turn where I had to go a way behind, & so I had to go all the way back.

This is reality which often happens with us, we are to focussed in competing with co-workers, neighbours, friends, family etc trying to prove we are more successful or important.

We forget that God has given us our destinies, but still we spent our time & energy in focussing on competing.

Still someone will be better than you in terms of job, careers, money etc etc.

We become insecure since we pay too much attention.

There is no competition in destiny, run your own race & wish others well.

Hindi Life fact - Good one

Kitabo ke panne paat ke sochte hai , yu palat jaye zindagi
to kya baat hai

tamman jo puri ho khwabo mein, haqikat ban jaye
to kya baat hai

sab log matlab ke liye dhundte hai ek doosre ko, bina matlab ke to aye
to kya baat hai

katal kar ke to sab le jayenge dil mera, koi baata ke le jaye
to kya baat hai

zinda rehne tak to khushi dunga sabko, kisi ko meri maut par khushi mile
to kya baat hai

Collywood Reality

There was a farmar who had a Horse & a Goat one day the horse became ill & had to call the vet.

Vet saw the horse & told " he has got a virus", need to take medicine for 3 days , if he does not get better, we need to put him down ( kill him).

Goat was listening to the conversation, he said to the horse, be strong my friend & get up , else they will put you to sleep.

2nd day the horse was given meicine, goat came back & said , come on buddy get up, you can do it else ur going to die. I will count 1,2,3 &  will get up...but in vain.

3rd day Vet saw the horse, gave him the medicine & told the farmer, if he does not get up today, the virus will spread ,so we need to put him to sleep tommorrow.

Goat motivated the horse, listen pal it's now or never, slowly get up I will help you, you can do it. I will count 1,2,3 & u have to get up.

Suprisingly the horse got up & started to run with motivation from goat.

The farmer was passing by & saw the horse with surprise, he was happy & shouted " It's a miracle, it calls for a party, lets cook the goat".

Moral : Today it oftens happens in workplace, nobody knows which employee actually deresves the merit of success.

Collywood Check

In todays world , word like moral,integrety,values,ethics etc etc are good in talking during interviews & in company's handbook.

In politics there is no place for these things & collywood has become a huge playground for people who know how to play & who want to learn it, else u r not worth to do a job.

Collywood Rocks !!!