Collywood Reality

A manager from top ranks met with a road accident & died.

His soul goes up & he finds God waiting for him.

God tells him that he was done is deed on earth & hence he wants to give him 2 choices of heaven & hell.

God tells him to go in the lift so that he can see the hell first.

The manager goes in the lift which takes him down down down to hell.

On reaching hell he sees good scenary, green grasses & party going on , when he gets near the party he find his past collegues & friends dancing & singing happily & enjoying the host of food & drinks, he also joins him & enjoys the same.

Now god asks him to visit the heaven

he again climbs the lift & goes up up up to heaven.

he enjoys the entire day playing harp with good atmosphere & scenery, enjoys best of food also.

God then asks him his choice....the manager promptly replies Hell.

The god tells him to board the lift to hell.

The manager climbs the lift & goes down down down to Hell.

When he reaches hell he finds barren land, worst of climate & people in torn rags.

Man get disappointed & shouts at god that he had cheated him.

God answers
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
yesterday we were recruiting you
.
.
.
.
.
.
today you are an employee !!!

Collywood Rocks !!!

Collywood : Do you want a Off ????

There are 365 days this year.

There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work.

Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available.

You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break. That accounts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days avail...able.

With a one hour lunch period each day, you have used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.

You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days available for work.

We are off for 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days.

We generously give you 14 days vacation per year which leaves only one day available for work and I'll be damned if you're going to take that day off!

....

Still you want a off ?????????

Collywood Rocks !!!

Collywood after appraisal humour :

Manager : This is your revised salary structure , keep it confidential.

Employee : Don't worry sir , I am equally ashamed of it.

Lol !!!

Collywood Rocks !!!

Collywood - what managers do

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want um coffee".

The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up".

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then ju...st walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want um coffee".

The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto, we're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was all that about, anyway"?

The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me training for upper management position. Come in, drink coffee, shoot shit, leave a mess for others to clean up, and disappear for rest of day.

Collywood Rocks !!!

A fundamental for success in collywood :

"If you do not like any rule just follow it, Reach the top and then Change IT..!!"

Collywood Rocks !!!

Collywood Vintage

Shri Krishna Gita Saars was written for benefit for society & oneself , but current Collywood Scenario ( bosses ) have given meaning to it. ( Lol... I wished Shri Krishna would have worked in Collywood ) ( Friends this is just humour, no religious offence please ).

Tu karta vahi hai jo tu chahta hai
Par hota woh hai jo mein chahta hu
Tu wahi kar jo mein chahta hu
Phir vahi ho...ga jo tu chahta hai !!!!

Main kabhi kisi ke sath pakshpaat nahi karta,main keval dharm ka sath deta hoon.
Jo dharm ka acharan karta hai,woh mera apna hai aur jo adharm ka sath deta hai,wo mere liye paraya hai.

Jo hua,woh achchha hua,
Jo ho raha hai,woh bhi achchha ho raha hai,
Jo hoga,woh bhi achchha hi hoga....
Tum phal ki chinta chhodkar keval apna karm karo...............

Collywood Rocks !!!