Collywood Salary Theorem :

A "Salary Theorem" states that "you can never earn as much as your bosses."

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every Boss knows: Power = Work / Time and

since: Knowledge = Power and: Time = Money,

it is therefore true that: Knowledge = Work / Money

Solving this equation for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make

Collywood Rocks !!!

How Collywood Bosses are to be Interpreted :

1.”We will do it” means “You will do it”

2.”You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you”

3.”We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on the
same”

4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “Its not getting done
... “At least not tomorrow!”

5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views” means “I have already decided, I will tell you what to do”

6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied”

7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means “I have no time now, will
talk later”

8.”We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time”

9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline” means “The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time.”

10.”We had slight differences of opinion “means “We had actually fought”

11.”Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help you” means “Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me”

12.”You should have told me earlier” means “Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!”

13.”We need to find out the real reason” means “Well I will tell you where your fault is”

14.”Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected,” means, “Well you know…”

15.”We are a team,” means, “I am not the only one to be blamed”

16.”That’s actually a good question” means “I do not know anything about it”

17.”All the Best” means “You are in trouble”

Collywood Rocks !!! :)

Collywood har level ki vedana ( People in every position feels this ) :

People in every position feels this  :

umar ki raah me jazbaat badal jate hai
waqt ki andhi mein halaat badaal jate hai
sochta hu kaam kar kar ke records tod du
lekin kambaqt salary dekh ke khayalat badal jate hai !!!

Collywood Rocks !!! :)

Current Collywood Scenario ( Gujju ) Good one :

Aakruti nahin aakar badlay che,

swabhav nahin vyavhar badlya che,

Sachvi ne rejo a duniya ma dosto

kem k ahiya jarurat puri thai....

etle pachi loko na bhagwan pan badlai che...

:)

Collywood Irony - Hindi

Garib dur tak chalte hai khane ke liye
Collywood wale dur tak chalte hai khana pachane ke liye

Kisi ki pass khane ke liye ek waqt ki roti nahin hai
Collywood walo ke pass roti khane ke kiye waqt nahin hai

Koi lachar hai is liye ke bemaar hai
Collywood wale bimaar hai is liye lacchar hai

Koi apno ke liye roti chod deta hai
Collywood wale roti ke liye apno ko chod dete hai

Enjoy Life Friends...Collywood Rocks !!!

Real Life v/s Collywood - Interpretations

Real Life : Work for Cause and not for Applause

Collywood : Work for applause...no one is bothered about the cause.

Real Life : Live life to express not to impress

Collywood : Always impress, there is no scope to express anything.

Real Life : Don't Strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt.

Collywood : Just make your presence noticed , no one takes notice of your absence.

Collywood Rocks !!!